Paityn’s eyes light up when she excitedly observes she and Hudson are laying together in bed or are both in my exhausted arms. “Two babies!”
The transition to having “two babies” was a rough one the first month. Struggle bus galore. Paityn seemed to be concerned that we would leave one night just like all of the visitor’s did after Hudson was born. She started needing reassurance anytime we’d be in the car driving that she was coming too.
“Dadda, coming? Momma, coming? Paityn, coming? Baby, coming?”
“Yes Paityn,” we’d tell her, “you’ll always come with us.”
For weeks Landon laid next to her crib holding her hand through the slots, soothing her hurting and worried heart till she fell asleep. Breastfeeding Hudson often made her jealous. I offered every time she tried to push Huddie off that she could go next, Hudson just had to go first. She took me up on the offer once, and bit me within 5 seconds. Turns out a good latch isn’t forever.
Let’s also not forget the pink eye that kept sweeping through our house that month.
And then something magical happened at the 4 week mark. We got our sweet Paityn back. Sighs of relief happened. I was never concerned that we’d ruined her life. But it was hard to see her not herself.
But everything went back to normal; minus my huge pregnant belly and with a chubby little newborn in our lives now.
The girls started sleeping in till 11am some mornings. Paityn took up nursing her doll while I nursed Hudson, or started using the free time to get into a little mischief. We fell into a routine. I learned the habits that made our days go smoothly, and joyfully even most days. Suddenly our texts to Landon were cheerful updates, the sweatpants and unwashed hair days were fewer and further between, and that peaceful motherhood confidence set back in.
I will clarify, it’s strongest when both girls are sleeping. ;)