The end and the beginning. // The end of this feeling like a nice experience with no specific end. The beginning of excitement setting in that there is an end, and it’s not as far away as it once felt.
Also the beginning of walking becoming a bit more difficult with a little baby’s head hanging out in my crotch and all. Seriously it’s like trying to walk forward with someone holding you in place. I’m also pretty sure I’ve started waddling a bit. It can’t be helped.
Paityn and I walked with a few moms yesterday in the sun almost 4 miles roundtrip and got at least an hour of relaxing time while the babes ran around and played at the playground we stopped at to their heart’s content. It seemed to symbolize something for me. The return of the sun, of resisting the urge to hunker down and become a hermit, being outside and trusting Paityn to play without me hovering and watching her every move. She’s getting older too, as this tiny babe grows in my womb, and I need to trust that process just as much.
Not everything about this phase of pregnancy feels so life changing though. Though it has a brighter and sunnier outlook that ever, it still feels so simple and peaceful — just what I need. Heartburn set in and I discovered Tums for the first time in my life. Oh they are lifesavers. Weekly midwife appointments have begun and they force me to actually get ready once a week. Which I need. Last Thursday at my appointment we got to see a little ultrasound of this babe on a handheld device — and though we couldn’t see much, it made it all feel real. That there IS a baby in there! And that we’re going to meet her soon.
So the uncomfortable nights of sleep,
waddling while walking,
wearing Landon’s t-shirts and pullovers,
struggling to fit into pants,
needing help tying my shoes,
struggling to pick things up off the floor,
kicks to the ribs late at night,
soccer punches to the vag,
lack of interest of working out,
or even leaving the house some days;
they have an end date.
This doesn’t last forever,
and I’m going to miss this bump.
It’s the 22 day countdown. Which means it’s time to start thinking about hospital bags, finally getting a crib for this little girl, and to continue to try and cool it on the no bake cookies.