Thoughts On Motherhood

“When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? When the surf of the centuries has made the great pyramids so much sand, the everlasting family will still be standing, because it is a celestial institution, formed outside telestial time” — Neal A Maxwell

I spent yesterday afternoon at the OR Show, and loved being around so many young, fresh [+ mostly bearded] faces that were making connections and making deals. After grabbing fresh fruit smoothies together, I joined in on an appointment Landon had with a Peak 7 employee and a Marmot Rep. Because Landon was there with a specific purpose, it was amazing to see how willing companies are to do business with you. That trend continued with most everyone he met.

It got me thinking, as I have been the past few weeks watching Landon work hard to get gear review and sponsor relationships with companies, “is this something I should be doing?” “Do I need to do more?”

While I continued on that afternoon and spent time with Paityn while Landon had a few of his own appointments, I pondered my place in the business world, trying to picture what sort of trade show would be right up my alley. “Would I feel more at home at the bodybuilding expo/ should I have never deleted my fitness instagram?” “What about the ABC Kids expo with baby products galore or  IMATS with makeup and all my favorite beauty gurus?”

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Later that evening, after my favorite spinach wrap at Blue Lemon, we walked over to Deseret Book, where I found a few of my old buddies still working. We chatted and caught up, then got to go home together, Landon and I, hand in hand. Paityn and I hung out and laughed with Avery for hours while L continued with follow up emails, cover letters, and applying for positions.

As I laid in bed that night, after we’d all gone to sleep, I kept working on a mental list of companies to hit up and see if they’d like to work together, the ideas were forming. I then started picturing being back at Deseret Book, the place where I’ve missed since being back in California. I pictured being back in dress clothes, helping others, and feeling that sweet gentle spirit. Then just like that, the romantic notion of that job popped. I was able to recognize where I’m at in life and that my time there completely had it’s place, but that now my time is to be with Paityn. I felt, and feel still this morning, that if Christ were to visit He would say “go home Kyra, your place is with your daughter.”

In a world where feminism, the rights of women, and degrading of motherhood feels strong, it feels weird to write those words. But I do so unapologetically, because it’s such a sweet and loving picture in my mind. That at the end of the day, my heart longs to be with her. It feels natural to want to tend for her, and raise her up. My heart breaks for the women that have to return to work shortly after giving birth, pumping milk in side rooms, and seeing their babe only in the evening. Though things are tight for Landon and I financially, I’m so grateful that I get to be home with our sweet little one. That Landon works a job he doesn’t absolutely love, but does it for us, and does it well.

It felt so good to be at Outdoor Retailer for the afternoon, in the middle of thousands of companies and booths who are making it in this world and recession. Everyone there hIMG_3070ad their place, a purpose and a compelling story. My compelling story is that of a supporting wife and mom to a cutie who has phone conversations on combs.

I look up to all the cute moms that have blogs that are making it big, that are doing fun things, and, let’s be honest, have beautiful things! I am, however, just barely beginning to see the work that goes into each blog post. I used to think some just make it big organically, while others don’t. And while that may be the case for some, I know others are putting in the time and hours to make it happen. I find myself kindly envying those that are at ALT Summit this week, with blogs and social media numbers to back up their purpose for being there.

But whether or not I ever make it to that place, I love this blog, and I love motherhood. I’m excited to see how easily a blogger can work with a company when they have a clear vision and execution. Most of all, I love that if I shut out all the distractions for a few hours, and follow my heart, it leads me back to our little family, and the potential and growth we have as a family unit

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